Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
