I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Your cock deserves a montage
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
