their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Michael Bay diarrhea
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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