i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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