Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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