I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
