If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
