Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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