Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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