I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Only a mothe r could love this liver
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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