I feel like abortions should bother me more
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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