We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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