This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
