Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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