I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
