omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
