If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
