She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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