Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Send help, water and tortillas.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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