I wish life had little blips of pornography
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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