Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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