He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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