these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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