Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.

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  (520): If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar. http://tfl.nu/t9uo
  Replies (59) Good night (5221) Bad night (812)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.

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  (214): Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life (501): 3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/1c46
  Replies (17) Good night (1122) Bad night (2494)
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  (209): View more from California

  i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

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  (209): i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you http://tfl.nu/qjob
  Replies (4) Good night (1104) Bad night (3740)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.

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  (224): My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it. http://tfl.nu/fqyk
  Replies (18) Good night (964) Bad night (2793)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined

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  (301): I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined http://tfl.nu/iip9
  Replies (19) Good night (958) Bad night (3191)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.

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  (832): Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are. http://tfl.nu/ir1i
  Replies (15) Good night (3821) Bad night (1267)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it

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  (423): gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it http://tfl.nu/v9kx
  Replies (9) Good night (4173) Bad night (1073)
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  (585): View more from New York

  The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.

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  (585): The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi. http://tfl.nu/64lh
  Replies (10) Good night (3969) Bad night (1300)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.

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  (601): I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise. http://tfl.nu/o61x
  Replies (32) Good night (5568) Bad night (1075)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.

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  (778): She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up. http://tfl.nu/0zw1
  Replies (4) Good night (1187) Bad night (732)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song

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  (908): Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song http://tfl.nu/uwq0
  Replies (13) Good night (1475) Bad night (579)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.

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  (406): We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors. http://tfl.nu/7kjk
  Replies (11) Good night (1101) Bad night (452)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....

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  (515): Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity.... http://tfl.nu/stin
  Replies (4) Good night (704) Bad night (505)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.

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  (443): I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up. http://tfl.nu/vhgn
  Replies (1) Good night (778) Bad night (258)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay

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  (617): Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay http://tfl.nu/4gtm
  Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (443)

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