Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
