Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.