this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
