I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
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I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
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First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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