This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
