I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
