THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
