Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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