I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
