I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize