Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
