i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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