My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
