Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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