Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
