i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
