Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
