so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
