if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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