what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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