What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
