i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
