Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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