I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
