I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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