Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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