I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just gift wrapped bread.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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