We're facebook friends in real life
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Im part way to drunk.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
