drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
