4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
thus making me awesome and them whores
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
