Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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