I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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