i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
