Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
