Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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