and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
