You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
