My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
