just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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